What is self-worth and how to build it

June 21, 2023

You’re probably here because you’ve identified that low self-worth is holding you back from having the things you desire such as more money, more love, or more success. Self-worth is defined as, “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect (1).”

Maybe you’ve read many books on self-help or spirituality, but you’ve noticed that no matter how much you meditate or learn, that feeling of unworthiness just keeps coming back. It interferes with your progress, keeps you playing small, and keeps your goals perpetually out of reach.

You may find yourself at a time in your life when you’re being called to make a big change or perhaps you’re simply sick and tired of feeling shitty.  In this post, I’m going to give you 3 things you can do to increase your self-worth today.  I’ll provide you with some clarity on the thoughts and beliefs you’re entertaining that are keeping you feeling unworthy of what you really want.   I say “entertaining” because our thoughts are actually optional. You can choose and intentionally decide what you think. Your thinking is creating your feeling of low self-worth. Of course, you don’t know you’re doing it and it’s not intentional. But this simple awareness can seriously change your life.

No matter why you’re here, I want you to know one thing.  You are worthy of what you want. You’re not more worthy when you’re thinner or have more degrees, or have more experience or more accomplishments under your belt. You are worthy right now, as you are.  

Maybe you don’t feel this way right now, but I know for a fact that you are a powerful woman.  You’re capable, and smart and you have years of life experience.  You’re meant to live the life that you want.  A life full of purpose and possibility, joy and freedom, confidence and clarity.  You get to have what you want. 

You and I are made from the same universal intelligence that created all of nature.  Call it god, or spirit or higher self.  Call it unicorns or stardust.  We’re part of the beauty that made flowers and trees and mountains.  We’re made of the same intelligence that tells a seed to grow and flourish and blossom.  There is so much wisdom and intelligence within you, and today I want you to honour yourself for all that you’ve been through, or are going through.  Honour yourself for being here and making an effort to create real, lasting change.  

I know for a fact that when you learn the mindset shifts to raise your self-worth you’ll be able to move the needle in your life, business, career or any other area you feel is lacking.    

Before you can manifest what you want in life, its extremely important for you to feel worthy of it.  Its next to impossible to go after what you want if you don’t feel that you deserve it.  You may even be afraid to admit what you really want in life because you feel you could never have it.  The truth is there is nothing that you can’t have, but you’ve been told a lot of stories about your limitations by well-meaning family members. 

Your stories about what’s possible for you stems from your internal belief system about your worthiness. Even though you may be externally quite accomplished, your internal belief systems will always limit your capacity to have what you really want. You cannot see your subconscious beliefs and limiting stories, and it’s one of the main reasons people me as their coach. By asking you very carefully selected questions that illuminate your subconscious blocks, I help you uncover what’s holding you back and create a plan to achieve what you really want.

A lot of limiting stories are passed down to us through our caregivers when we’re young, and they become so internalized that they seem like the truth. You have to uncover and release these stories in order to create the life or business of your dreams.

One of the ways to discover your beliefs about self worth is to listen in on what you’re saying to yourself on a daily basis.  It’s kind of like eavesdropping on your mind.  You’re constantly in a dialogue with yourself about what you can or can’t do, say or can’t say, be or can’t be.  This inner dialogue impacts how you feel, the actions you take, what you expect from life, AND how worthy you feel.  

So before we go any further, you might be wondering, who am I and why I do this work?

I’m Priya and I’m a life & business coach for smart, big-hearted women, high-achieving women & entrepreneurs who want to create a life or business they actually love.  I’m truly passionate about helping entrepreneurs, creatives, thought leaders and lightworkers who want to do good in the world.  I believe each of us can have a massive impact, but in order to heal the world, we must first heal ourselves.  

I’m a big time foodie and no one messes with me in the morning until I’ve had my favourite cup of dairy free organic half caf, half decaf coffee.  Oh ya I’m one of those people! 

I’ve had my share of challenging life experiences too.  At the age of 21 I was diagnosed with cancer and underwent chemo and radiation therapy.  In my 30’s I was diagnosed with chemo induced infertility.  In both cases, as devastating as these diagnoses were, they were my teachers.  I’ve been an entrepreneur for over a decade. I’ve run a brick and mortar store, an online ecommerce store, a wellness practice, and now I run a global coaching company where I coach women from around the world.

I discovered that our obstacles are actually opportunities for growth.  It’s not that one should seek obstacles, but that an obstacle is simply an invitation for your next evolution.  The reason they are opportunities is because they reveal to you what is unhealed within you.

Now onto business:

There are 3 steps to raise self worth:

  1. Forgive your past self.
  2. Be proud of yourself now.
  3. Take directions from your higher self.

Let’s explore number 1: Forgive your past self.

You’re probably aware that issues of low confidence and self worth stem from your childhood.  Someone at some point told you that you weren’t good enough and you absorbed that belief. Children have no discerning ability when it comes to what they’re being told, and they internalize those messages.  As they grow up, those internalized messages become their internal dialogue. 

As adults, this might show up as not asking for a raise when you deserved it.  Not executing that one business idea that felt like a sure thing.  Low self-worth can also show up in your personal life. You might be a chronic people pleaser because your sense of worthiness comes from other people liking you or agreeing with you.  The first thing I want you to know is that your self-worth is a feeling created by your thoughts. And this is where we have to start.

It can be hard to sit face to face with your thoughts and tune in to some of your beliefs, but you can only overcome what’s holding you back when you’re brave enough to listen to what’s actually running the show in your mind.  So don’t be afraid or ashamed of what you uncover. Don’t judge yourself.  Be gentle with yourself.  This practice will ask you to be vulnerable, which is how true healing can begin.

So let’s get into it. 

This part of the exercise and should take around 20-30 minutes.  Once you complete it, I’d love for you to share your discoveries with me over on instagram.

Grab your journal now and answer the following questions:

Q1) Think back to the last time you really wanted to do something bold or brave.  What were some of the things you said to yourself about your ability to go after it?  

Be honest here, we’re trying to tune into that inner dialogue.  Some example of the bold thing can be wanting to start a podcast, write a book or increase your rate for your services.

What were some of the things you said in the privacy of your mind?

Question 2)  How do you describe yourself to others?  What words do you use to describe either your situation, what you’re going through or how you’re coping with it?  What are some of the things you say about yourself jokingly with friends or colleagues?

Question 3) What do you feel is in the way of you taking your next step towards more fulfillment and freedom? And is that really true?

Question 4) What do you NEED to believe in order to take your next step?

Now take a pause here and be sure to complete the above before you proceed further.

Next read through your answers.

What are some common themes or reasons you believe are in the way of getting what you want?  Are there beliefs or thoughts that you see repeatedly?  

If there isn’t a common theme, then what belief stands out in your mind?  Which one feels the strongest?  Which one is the most difficult to overcome?

An example could be:  “I’m not skilled enough to go after what I really want” or “I’m not good enough to show up on my social media”, or “I’ll ask for what I want when I have more confidence.”  

Once you have the most prominent theme or belief, write it down so we can begin creating intentional thoughts to heal those beliefs.

I help my clients raise their self-worth so they can earn more. Click here to grab a free business strategy call to see if coaching is the right next step for you.

About the author 

Priya Ferrie is a life & business coach for women.  Her focus is on confidence, visibility & leadership both in life and at work.  Priya is a trained homeopath, certified coach, and a graduate of Mcmaster University.  Priya is obsessed with her two dogs, and lives with her husband in Ontario.    


What is self-worth and how to build it

Priya Ferrie




Priya Ferrie




Priya Ferrie




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